Putting the Homo in Homo Superioir

German.
Ravenclaw.
Mutant.
Perfectionist.
Incredibly Lazy.
Slightly insane.
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junksickhomesick:

no no no no onono no stop it you can’t draw pores what how

(Source: jedavu, via viel-zu-muede)


20 hours ago 79,912 notes

I’m not half as good at anything
as I am when I’m doing it next to you.
— You gave me a home.

(Source: dailysuperhusbands, via tonystarkr)


2 days ago 468 notes
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.


2 days ago 301,397 notes

(Source: daily99, via kevinmckidd)


2 days ago 655 notes

ixnay-on-the-oddk:

My idea of flirting is making fun of each other until one of us fucks up and says something nice

(via the-only-consulting-cat)


2 days ago 340,123 notes
savethewailes:

enigmaticpenguinofdeath:

Mark Gatiss waited almost forty years to realise his childhood dreams of hamming it up as a Doctor Who baddie. He’d clearly be damned if he wasn’t going to squeeze the fun out of every background-featuring frame.

ACTINGGGGG

savethewailes:

enigmaticpenguinofdeath:

Mark Gatiss waited almost forty years to realise his childhood dreams of hamming it up as a Doctor Who baddie. He’d clearly be damned if he wasn’t going to squeeze the fun out of every background-featuring frame.

ACTINGGGGG

(via deansbitchface)


2 days ago 14,059 notes

greenseer:

U ever wish u were Mysterious but u can’t stop talking about urself

(via the-only-consulting-cat)


2 days ago 34,191 notes

jewist:

the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again

(via the-only-consulting-cat)


2 days ago 847,048 notes
Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first, and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us, we can cope with that. We can do this together you and I. —Cecil Baldwin, Welcome to Night Vale. (via calvinjcandie)

(Source: clhrisevans, via tonystarkr)


2 days ago 15,993 notes

lebaenese:

My goal is to be that rich single aunt that flies everywhere and wears designer clothing and brings expensive gifts to her less successful family members

(via tonystarkr)


2 days ago 234,679 notes
kaltspiegel:

celesgami:

wot4:

Good Lord is it bird o’clock already?

my grandma has this clock and i find it important to inform you all that every hour it makes the bird call sound of the bird of the hour

my mother has one of these and I didn’t know that, so when I was staying at her place and slept on the couch in the living room the stupid clock started chirping, I woke up a few times and heard bird chirps in the room in the middle of the night and I was so confused

kaltspiegel:

celesgami:

wot4:

Good Lord is it bird o’clock already?

my grandma has this clock and i find it important to inform you all that every hour it makes the bird call sound of the bird of the hour

my mother has one of these and I didn’t know that, so when I was staying at her place and slept on the couch in the living room the stupid clock started chirping, I woke up a few times and heard bird chirps in the room in the middle of the night and I was so confused


2 days ago 7,376 notes
kaltspiegel:

celesgami:

wot4:

Good Lord is it bird o’clock already?

my grandma has this clock and i find it important to inform you all that every hour it makes the bird call sound of the bird of the hour

my mother has one of these and I didn’t know that, so when I was staying at her place and slept on the couch in the living room the stupid clock started chirping, I woke up a few times and heard bird chirps in the room in the middle of the night and I was so confused

kaltspiegel:

celesgami:

wot4:

Good Lord is it bird o’clock already?

my grandma has this clock and i find it important to inform you all that every hour it makes the bird call sound of the bird of the hour

my mother has one of these and I didn’t know that, so when I was staying at her place and slept on the couch in the living room the stupid clock started chirping, I woke up a few times and heard bird chirps in the room in the middle of the night and I was so confused


2 days ago 7,376 notes

the-faeriequeen:

is this a disney movie

(Source: poyzn, via tonystarkr)


2 days ago 222,600 notes
chromeofficial:

chromeofficial:

my brother told me to design a poster for his student council campaign

he won the election and is now student council president

chromeofficial:

chromeofficial:

my brother told me to design a poster for his student council campaign

he won the election and is now student council president

(via tonystarkr)


2 days ago 21,823 notes
yeah-youtubers:

This sign is in my doctors office above the scale and I really love it. It actually made me feel a lot better after reading it

yeah-youtubers:

This sign is in my doctors office above the scale and I really love it. It actually made me feel a lot better after reading it

(via the-only-consulting-cat)


2 days ago 132,802 notes